Monday, June 21, 2004
| velocity funk 
uch, something is going on inside + i'm not sure what it is. one thing i know, is it ain't coming out solid. now i know that folks don't want to hear me talk about this sort of dirty stuff, but being that i have no audience...this will be my forum for such bland information. it's one of those deals where you feel you're going to poop your pants with wet stuff everytime you have to poot. ok, that's all on that lame topic. -------------- i decided to scream at the top of my lungs in my car today. it wasn't that i was particularly agitated at any road-related event, i just needed to let it out. i tend to overthink things and at times it makes me just want to yell for a bit to get it out. the car is a good venue for that. better than at a restaurant i suppose. or at church. or while getting pulled over by the po-lice. -------------- the cycle continues. boy + girl have great time. girl goes crazy. boy + girl have not so good time. this is the 2nd time in a row, one more and the pattern will have something to do with me. it doesn't make much sense to me + i am good to these ladies, it's just i've been attracting some 'crazy' ones lately. well, one you call crazy, the other is on the clinical end of the spectrum. another wonderful pattern is that they freak out, there's senseless drama, then they want to be what the original plan was. though by that time, the torment in mi cabesa has taken it's toll + i'm done with the bs. how do things become difficult, damn, my current steezo is enjoy the moment yr in and stop worrying about what things will become. actually, i contradict that when i get bummed + try to figure out what the problem was, eventually llaying the blame on myself; which isn't the case, but the only way to make sense of it. i don't want to blame the last one's mental state as the reason, she made thigns well aware of what was going on + what had gone on before; i'm pliable + willing to work with whatever that person brings to the table. i think it was too much, though i think to blame it on that is kind of weak on my part. -------------- sorry about this personal stuff. this is where i'm going to write this stuff, so whatever.
Comments:
you could have the unhappy woman syndrome. needing to make unhappy women happy to make yourself happy. Look for the happy ones that are crazy some of the time. Although I do like the crazy ones. I can't make my mind up sometimes.
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