quickie
dude, bella has col' lost her mind. sam, who's staying with us for a bit, told me that he was shooting the shit with the mailman the other day + as he turned to walk off + finish his route, bella came tearing ass outta nowhere and bit the mailman in the calf! sam started busting out laughing cause it was a tad stereotypical, but the mailman frunted, turned, + then walked away.
c-c-c-c-c-c-come on
i played the role of a russian yesterday. i col' busted my ass like a slave for 3 hrs on this piece of land my uncle bought. not sure how this transpired, but i volunteered + next thing i know i'm singing russian slave songs wielding a sickle. now i'm not shitting here, i was cutting grass + weeds with an instrument from the 1800s. what the hell happened to the industrial lawnmower my hispanic brothers maneuver so well??? anywho, so my body is jacked today from my blue-collar endeavour. new found respect for the reds, anyone that has ever worked a sickle is a tough mofo (note: this does not include me). somebody explain the parenthesis/period rule to me, it's driving me crazy...amongst other things.
almost got ran off the road by an audi a second ago. rollin' in my aunt's tiny ride and rockin' out to some 'i want your sex' almost had my life flashing.
partied at some plush LA-esque house in wiesbaden last night. apparently this ladies dad publishes in the field of lexicons. not of mush interest, we watched some films made by party attendees, i checked out the sculptures + indoor pool. mofos were 'grilling'. this is german for bbq + it's quite the bastardized form of the art we texans have perfected. stuck to the beer for the night, cheap vodka col' about killed me in the cz.
did i mention i went to munich? pretty fun, got in and it was cold + raining, ended up sleeping/squatting in the laundry room of the hostel for a few hours cause they were full + we were tired, so we set up shop like some refugees.
tryin to think of a masterplan for when i get back to the states. i have to be in tx by aug 2nd, so i may kick it in killa cali for a bit.
homeboy's killin' it right now. #6 is on the way.
dancehall days love pt. 2
bombs on the train are hott. never found out if there was a bomb or not, but we waited for 3 hrs and the robot deal came out to check the train. it's hard to understand the czechs when they speak english. i told the koreans there was a bomb and then changed ti to 'i think he said we're getting bumped', cause it seemed a little to casual. oh well, i'm alive, but what a story that woulda been if we got blowed up. i try to make some of this stuff interesting.
i'm sick now + münchen is kinda cold, but the sauerkraut and sausage was hott last night, so whatever.
i think tarzan boy is on the radio in the internet cafe.
there are less turks down south.
i need a neck transplant. or do some yoga when i get back, cause my chit is bent.
adios.
the horses mouth
he tells it a bit better than i did...
"Alright, I didn't want to let it out to everyone, so be happy as you're in exclusive company.
So yeah we sit down at the bar with beers from a different bar, this huge Czech bastard walks up and starts yelling, we just go three more beers eh! So he runs off like a little bitch to grab em.
So let me fast forward a bit. So this 40 yr old Czech lady Petra who claims to be German. So while Kor and Dan are molesting this woman, Im contemplating how I can get a piece of the action. So why not invite her up to the bathroom stall, Im sure shit always goes down in there.
Anyway, Kory goes, Yknow what I bet this slut would fuck all three of us right now. I just bolt up and Im all like alright fuck this, lady you're coming with me, so I take her by the hand up to the bathroom. Needless to say, she made out to be a pretty good hand model. While this was going on though, her boyfriend ended up taking a pisser in the urinal that I spewed the absinthe onto. Thats pretty much the gist of it, I got a handjob from a 40 yr old Schizo, what a story!
James"
destruction, terror, + mayhem
i have to apologize for the damage i just did to the restroom. last night included way too much beer for this liquor drinker, not to mention the espresso for breakfast, + therein lies the combination for total devastation of all that is porcelain.
rolled with the canadians last night. we rolled to some local spots, rocked out to the accordian, then ended up at a cellar bar with all of this satanic shit on the walls. and it wasn't some goth club, these were normal looking folks. met petra. she was kind of strange, but kept us entertained. she spoke german. she kept saying she was german, even though she's czech. she tried to validate this by claiming her dead, german, husband as her alliance with the vaterland. she kept mentioning his death; from cancer. then she started coming on to us. and then she turned around and made out with this dude sitting behind her, with the crew she came in with. but she wasn't a prostitute. just kooky + drunk. i went to get drinks from the bartender + the only thing he said to me was 'schizophrenic'...or at least the czech version. she went upstairs to the restroom with one of the canadians. supposedly he got a hand job. creepy, she was a lil older and a lil drunk, but i guess that's how they roll up north. thinking back on the story, i believe some of that shit could of been made up + she really is rocking the schizo.
the below statistics involve last night's adventuress + some of the ex-girls. hello to you all.
the rain is out + i am in. i guess i can make it to a cafe + be a bum for the rest of the day. sometimes, it's a good thing i read slow.
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damn i'm hungover. i wish i had the ability to sleep it off, but somehow i always wake up early when i have a bad hangover. dehydration? heart palpitations? can't sleep when the heart races. dazed + confused for so long it's not true...
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fucking rain. for real now.
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i like the keyboards in the cz much better. germany had me confused. umlaut + chit.
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d.t.m., yo.
the schiet
egon schiele is the shizz. i randomly came upon the egon schiele art center in town + was blown away. hott stuff.
i found out that they call folks from newcastle 'jordies' + northern bastards. that's word to you, colin.
the train ride from prague to cesky krumlov was very nice. scenic + chit. green, mountains, lakes/rivers along the tracks, pretty czech girls.
met an 'actor' dude from LA and we rolled to the same hostel. some folks truly fit their sterotypes.
as usual, lots of aussies out here + some lymes, czechs, canadians, + some ladies from wisconsin. things are cheap, especially the beer, which i've switched to while in europe. although i had finlandia/rocks for a while. about to give the local wodka a try, see what 'transgresses'. i might fall off one of these bridges or drown in the river. went on the hunt for zubrowka, the magical wodka from poland, but am only coming across the americanized version of grasowka. hope i can hook up the real. hate to come home to tx empty-handed, like the LA lakers.
i need some alcohol to make this even a remotely interesting post.
reading mikhail bulgakov's black snow while roaming around town being a cafe-rat. pretty good + my new chit is definitely the espresso for the rest of 2004.
speaking of the '04. the second best idea of 2004, behind dressing as mariachis (and of course learning songs) for halloween, is to get a crew of 3 or so folks together to come out here next year (or comperable location), rent/buy (a cheap) car + drive around for a month or so. it would super fun to be driving around in the old eastern block in some car, fucking around, stopping wherever, + acting inappropriately as the opportunity arises. maybe i'm just high on paint right now, but this is another event (next to the hands on a margarita challenge 2004) that will require you to sign up on 'the list'.
speaking of hands on a margarita, the weekend has been set, though the day will be flexible until we approach. the weekend of 9/4. get ready. this will be a serious event + true measure of the human spirit. i plan on even bringing a boom box, in case we can't convince the folks at baby a's to pop in our 'competition mix'. it'll be ugly. it'll be the tour de force you hear such much about whilst reading/hearing the description for a shitty art flick.
egon schiele, yo. inventor of the gang sign.
fuck the muthafuckin prez-o-dent
alright ladies and gents, itz has been a while, but here we go. we gonna go randpom streams of consciousnees of consciousness, like whoo.
things #ve been coming to terms with sinnce z arrival in the fatherland:
the moustache isn#t going awaz any time soon, so get off da bozz, yo. the folks at the gibber kerb be holdin it down.
german style never ceases to amaze me.
what the fuck is with these german keyboads?
hey, being back to drinkin isnot so bad afterall. i got mzy no hangover baack on, so fuck yo momma.
sausages are hott for summer 2004.
i would like to think iäm sicilian for 2004.
stayuing at y aunts crib can drive a buggz curayzay, what.
luigi is about to beat my ass at some fifa, like germnaym whut.
fuck this keyboard.
and fuck these girlz talkin to me for 10 miun and then telling me they want to into me to they boyfriends.
fick trance.
word to the house music that was played tonight, but peace to juan and his air guitar abilities, i wont try to front, on the realz.
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ok, iäm getting old, all of my cousins have kids and itäs driving me crazy. folks younger thn me are geting married and itäs wack. yo.
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my stay in sf was hott. i lost my drinking virginity aghain after 5 months. i went to sanoma. i saw joho. i had a damned good time. i spent 500 on dinner. fuck it. it was good. and i didnät get layed, but double fuck it.
i got some hott ass pics for zyr ass so whatevs.
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what new, iäm ab out to keep it real for my estonia nuggz, although iäm really going to slovenia. or poland. or slovakia. keep the feds guessin, dig?
he, fuck it, iäll be back and you#lll love it, like whoo.
peace my caucasian brovazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
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